Friday, February 08, 2008

Divorce and poker

The only person that you can be sure will benefit from a divorce is the divorce attorney. They almost always make out pretty well. Men and women not so much.

But the effects of divorce on men and women are typically different. Typically women suffer financial hardship from divorce and men suffer emotional hardship.

Women usually are the ones that initiate a divorce, so their unhappiness is in the past. The divorce is going to tend to make them happier even though because of the nature of gender roles in a marriage they'll usually take the short end financially. Men usually didn't know they were unhappy until they got blindsided by the divorce, so the divorce itself tends to make them very unhappy.

But maybe there's something different about poker players. I don't have a big sample, but if you look at the divorces of a couple of high profile poker players the typical pattern doesn't seem to play itself out.

When Annie Duke got divorced she did just find financially. But, of course ended up just fine financially. In her case, although her marriage started out with the traditional gender roles (her husband had a small trust fund income that supported them) she didn't move to get divorced until after she'd developed her own independent career.

And Danny Boy seems to be doing just fine emotionally since his divorce.

Maybe poker players tend to develop non-traditional gender roles in their marriages?

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Blogger Ann Marie said...

This is a very interesting thought. I think it also may have to do with the fact that poker players train to always appear "just fine". They cannot show emotion, if they do they may loose. They have to be emotionless almost. This also bring up the question then if men whom generally are good and holding emotion within and not displaying it tend to be good poker players and gravitate toward that arena or if men whom are good poker players train themselves to be emotionless?? I don't know but this is a very good topic.
I work for, it is an online community for women navigating through the various stages of divorce and life thereafter. You are right that women do handle divorce and their emotions differently. it is great to see on our site our members and experts sharing those ways and helping others. Check it out at
Just my two cents
Ann Marie

12:05 PM  

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